i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize