So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you still have your period?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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