someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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