I seem to have left my pride at pride
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Brb crying the tears of my youth
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
