You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My vagina is very pro this idea
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
