Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
