Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone shattered a urinal.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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