Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
