yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize