Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
