nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
