I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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