Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
