i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize