just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
