Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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