I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
