So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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