You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
