I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize