Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize