Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
