Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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