and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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