Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
