my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
