Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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