he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
