how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
