he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
