I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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