oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
