So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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