i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
