I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
