Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
