Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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