What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
