i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Barsexuality is the new black.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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