We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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