Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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