She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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