I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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