I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I puked a lego.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
