A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
