Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
They should really pass out barf bags in church
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think people are normalizing furries
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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