I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
