escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
