white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
