You're so nebulous sometimes
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize
