Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
