Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
