so let's talk penis.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
