A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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