Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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