He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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