im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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