just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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