mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
