I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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