let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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