No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
