one two three fourrrrnication!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize