so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
