But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
