My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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