How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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