I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
