my vag is so smooth its legendary
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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