I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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