She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
