Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
