You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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