she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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