Got a toothbrush?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
